My dog is a retard.

My dog is extremely smart, yet retarded at the same time.  She knows lots of commands, in German and English.  She knows her left and right sides, and can do many other things.  She is the best dog I have ever had, and I love her very much and would never trade her for anything, or want to get rid of her.
However, she still does things that make me wonder if she is retarded or not.  She hates water (other than drinking it of course), stays out of the rain, doesn’t like baths, etc.  That doesn’t mean that she won’t try to get into the shower with you while its running.  One of her favorite things to do is to open the bathroom door and then try to open the shower if you are in it.   If you don’t close the door completely she will run to the bathroom while you aren’t looking and then go and walk around in the shower.  I know she does it since I have paw prints all over the shower floor.

Another thing she does involves bugs.  She eats them.  Eventually.  First she catches them, rips the legs and wings off with her teeth.  Then she plays with them for a while, much like a cat plays with a mouse.  After she is done is eventually eats them, but that could be a while.  I have come home to find crickets (we have been invaded this year it seems) missing their legs sprinkeled around the house.  They come in from the garage, and then somehow find their way inside, and once they do, they are hunted down, tortured, left to suffer and then eventually exectuted.  If the cricket is dumb enough to go directly to her kennel, it is then made into a quick snack for her.  I feel sorry for the little guys, since she doesn’t just off them completely.  She lets them sit for a while, no legs, no way to move, then ends it.  Then again, she is a German Shepherd.

Another thing is licking.  Constantly.  The air, carpet, her toys, her kennel, anything.  The vet said nothing is wrong with her, she just likes to lick everything.  I should take some video of her licking the air.  Its quite funny, since she changes her facial expression while doing so, as if there is something that will happen if she does so.  She can get quite serious about it, walking around the house, licking at the air the entire time.

In all, I love my dog, she is really smart, but she just acts like a complete idiot sometimes. – Poisoned pigeons fall from sky in Texarkana – Sep 13, 2006 – Poisoned pigeons fall from sky in Texarkana – Sep 13, 2006

“The death of these pigeons was more than an unfortunate accident,” local CapitalOne Bank President Lacy McMillen said in Tuesday’s online edition of Texarkana Gazette. “It was not the intention of the bank to harm any of these birds.” McMillen said the bank hired an exterminator to handle its pigeon problem after a bird entered the bank and defecated on a customer.

You fucking moron, you hired an exterminator to get rid of the problem…What the fuck did you expect them to do?  Ask the pigeons to leave?  Scare them off with a picture of Dick Cheney?  Oh wait, that would only scare innocent people…Still, you hired a company called “Anti-Pest”.  What a fucking idiot.