Redneck clownshoes

If you are a combo of redneck and metro sexual, this is for you. Don’t primp and preen a truck that advertises a lifestyle of constantly being off-road and one of being a cowboy when the most off road driving your giant SUV/truck/whatever will see is when you drive over the curb at McDonald’s to get to the drive through faster. Drop the “cowboy up” crap too. Its been overused and screams “behind the times” without you ever having to say a word. Having a cellphone won’t save you either, even if it has bluetooth and all the bells and whistles.
Lets clear the air here also and say that the hanging metal scrotum casting on the trailer hitch needs to be put away too. I certainly don’t give a shit about how fucked up your life is if you based your manhood and identity on the vehicle you drive and your assumed reception of the image projected. Its childish at best, and utterly ridiculous otherwise.  And besides, it takes a real man to pile into a tiny car and drive like a banshee…
Don’t grunt, try to use words when attempting to communicate with other humans.  Jesus kills puppies and kittens when you grunt rather than use a known language.
The civil war in America ended over 140 years ago, so please drop the “Rebel Pride”  facade, its cheesy and worn out.  I don’t fucking care if your ancestors fought in the civil war…Judging many people around here, I would assume they probably fought for the losing side.  Its pointless to get angry about a war that happened over a century before your birth.  Unless you invent a time machine to alter history, get over it and drop the subject.

When you smoke, use the fucking ashtray in your car and don’t throw the butts out the window.

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