Comedy relief


January 16, 2006: 10:16 pm: Comedy relief, Fucks that need to die, Internet stuff

Myspace Suicide (Original/Unedited)

Now THAT is comedy!

January 13, 2006: 2:26 am: Comedy relief, Stupid People

Myspace.com is a festering pit of moronic blather. It’s hailed by some as the best place on the net, if you like dumb looking “glitter” graphics and to look at pics of post high school sluts pretending to be the coolest thing ever since they can post pictures of them drinking and trying to be sexy. Fat rolls aren’t sexy, bitches. And the guys are just as bad, if not worse. Some try to be sensitive new age bitches, while others try to be fucking OG’s. And then other guys try to be fucking heavy metal psuedo bad ass mofos with serious looks and profile shots of tatoos on their arms and necks. Good luck getting a job that pays more than 8 bucks an hour with that tatoo going up the side of your face! But even then you will not be prepared for the bomb I am about to drop on your world.
The Big Berk!


Nice acne, douchebag.

The Big Berk is a pussy, a baller, a rocker, a G, a pimp, sensitive guy, and everything else you can imagine or manipulate him into being. He lists “money” as one of his interests. He also breeds dogs, and hangs out with girls that are almost 10 years younger than he is. While this fact makes some guys studs and players, I imagine this guys game is to be senstive and try to play the loveable chump to try and get some pussy. He bitches about how girls always dump him for “jerks” and then have babies with them. Duh! I dare to imagine that the women are desperate enough to get away from you that spousal abuse(while not cool), is an improvement over dating a fat chump like Big Berk. Add to that he lives in Maryland (the Oklahoma, Arkansas, Iowa,Mississippi and New Mexico of the East Coast) and you can see why I pick on him so much.
Another thing that pisses me off about myspace are the music and video players, and how poorly they are integrated into the site. I use FF 1.5, with a plug in that blocks media files from playing unless I allow them. So when I go to a myspace page to see just how stupid some people are, I get this assult of a black box that pops up and trys to play a shitty emo song or video since they could not figure out how to use the EMBED tag so they just put a link to it with Javascript that fowards you to the file. Works great in IE, but sorry FF and other browser users. I don’t want to be annoyed by your shitty music, I just want to see your stupid pics, maybe steal some and post them here and make fun of you, but that is about it. I don’t care about you. In fact, I more than likely would hate you in real life. I hate most people I meet, and high school aged kids trying to be grown up piss me off so much it is not even funny. So what if your parents sent you to Florida for your spring break. Good for them, they more than likely put it on a high interest credit card. I never got a spring break, or a prom, or homecoming or anything like that since I was expelled from high school (Long story). Ergo, I don’t give a shit about what people do for a week in march. I don’t give a flying fuck that you plan on being a star, since you won’t. You might be a local celebrity at a bar, but that is about it. I know that all of the people just go there like sheep, so I don’t blame them for being on myspace.com, I just blame their parents for being too drunk to use a condom and then not aborting their “love child”.

That is all….For now.

January 3, 2006: 10:17 am: Comedy relief

Want a snow day? Try flushing ice cubes

I predict that as of tonight, millions of icecubes will be flushed down the toilets of America.  No snow will come about, yet some toilets will be clogged after the pipes freeze from the 2.5 tons of ice some people will flush in order to get a snow day.

Personally I hate snow days.  They make the semester schedule all funky, and if you are in elementary school, you just have to make the time up in the summer.  I never realized this fact until my mom explained it to me when I was in 2nd grade.  Ever since then I hated snow days.  It is much better to go to school when its freezing outside and they can turn the heat up inside the school than to be stuck inside a blazing hot school with no AC.  I realized that getting a “free” day off is fun, but the repayment later in the summer is not worth it.

January 1, 2006: 11:19 pm: Comedy relief, Internet stuff

player.swf

Better than Jay Walking. Best Clip EVER! If I had money, I would pull pranks like this all the time at my college.

December 30, 2005: 5:07 pm: Comedy relief, Internet stuff

Potential jurors in Tenn. case have own troubles

This is the best news report ever. Hands down. I cannot believe that I had missed it.

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